And it was pretty depressing.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
I've got stats on all sorts of personal business – how well I sleep, how many steps I take, how often I meditate. There is, I'm told, an app to track how many bites you take per meal, should you wish to (going to give that one a miss, thanks). But what about dating? When my long-term boyfriend and I broke up a year ago, I decided to throw myself into the online hunt. Hard. I spend a huge amount of time on it – a hell of a lot more than I do meditating, that's for sure – but I have no numbers. So I decided to calculate how many hours I spent searching for romance in the past 12 months.
I'm working off an average of 1.5 dates per week. This fluctuated, of course. There were weeks when I'd arrange to meet three new blokes and ended up feeling like I'd been through that episode of The Apprentice with all the interviews. There were others when I felt too sad or too stressed or simply couldn't be arsed with nodding at a stranger as they told me about their siblings, so I didn't go on any at all. But I think 1.5 a week is representative. Note that I did not say this figure was reasonable, or healthy.
Trawling: 30 minutes per day = 182.5 hours a year
A quick browse on the bus to work, over lunch, while dinner burns – it adds up. I've been known to log into Guardian Soulmates for a peek before University Challenge starts, only to resurface and realise we're halfway through Only Connect. Or Newsnight.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
Messaging: 30 minutes per day = 182.5 hours a year
Some missives are dashed off in a blur of thumbs; others are minutely crafted, with subplots, callbacks, and recurring themes. Many are simply in response to the eternal question: "How's it going?" At this point, I have spent more time explaining my job to men I'll never meet than I did on entire modules of my degree.
Stalking: 30 mins per date x 1.5 dates per week = 39 hours a year
We need to talk about stalking. Specifically, not calling it that any more, because there is nothing creepy about googling someone you are about to spend time with. If I am going to consume a craft beer and a gourmet burger with a person, I would like to know if they have done anything noteworthy – whether that's getting disbarred from a professional body for misconduct or writing an amazing blog about gluten-free baking. I make no apologies.
Beautifying: 2 hours per date x 1.5 dates per week = 156 hours a year
This is, woefully, often my favourite bit of a date (sometimes by quite a margin). As my normal beauty regimen consists of 15 seconds of eyeliner application on the bus, I relish the opportunity to wallow in pre-date "pampering". Imagine a makeover montage from a '90s film but with more facial-hair management and pore strips.
Actual dating: 3 hours per date = 234 hours a year
Time is a relative concept in these situations. I've had nights where I could swear it's about 9pm but the bar staff are turning on the lights as we're drunkenly trying to play Trivial Pursuit. Others, meanwhile, are so awkward that a brief exchange about holiday plans feels like that level of Inception where every second passes as a decade.
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